I don’t drink caffeine. I started passing on it years ago when I learned it wasn’t keeping me hydrated and leading to some massive headaches. However, the second there is pop in the house, I have to drink it. Now I have myself in this awful circle of caffeinated behavior. And from my bag, my Wild Cherry Pepsi is already calling for me. “Drink me!”
This can, this red little can is tempting me in a way that no metal can ever should.
I can feel it now: the cool, thin metal in my hand, the little condensation droplets making me feel like I just reached into an icy cool tub and selected the best, coldest pop there could be. I can almost hear the clicking of the tab as I bust it open. And then that bubbly, tickling noise of the free carbonation.
Oh the first sip. The one that it so filled with bubbles, I can feel them burst against all areas of my mouth, almost causing my eyes to water.
After that first sip, I enjoy it slowly, taking sips throughout the day and feeling the caffeine pulsing through my veins.
Then the guilt comes. NO! We do not drink caffeine, let alone all of that sugar. My hips have grown an entire size from all the pop I have consumed recently, well, I’m sure the other treats didn’t help. Caffeine is an addiction. Caffeine is a habit, one that I do no want to have to break again.
If I drink this Wild Cherry Pepsi, I might feel good and awake and ready to take on any boring meeting that you throw in front of me. But I’ll also feel jittery, and then maybe a little sick later. And don’t suggest the diet pop with the NutraSweet. Just….no. That’s just not right.
However, I’ve worked myself into a circle. I’m tired every morning. I’m sluggish all day. The only thing that peps me up is the caffeine and the sugar that I consume throughout the day, but those are the same things that make me feel that way.
This has to stop. I have to take back the control in my life. One pop a day is all I drink, but it’s still too much. I used to survive on zero caffeine with an infant waking me up several times a night to nurse, plus juggling her and her toddler sister and my full-time job. Life right now is NOTHING compared to that balancing act. Things are much more stable, easier and calm. Yet I am still exhausted and becoming quite dependent on a pop every day to get me going.
How do I get back to my water and nothing else days? How do you stay awake without the assistance of caffeine? Are you addicted to anything?