Family Marriage Self Improvement Wife

Relationship tips: Communication can be silent, just notice it

Communication in relationships isn't always spoken. This is my husband on our honeymoon, non-verbally telling me to put the lens cap back on the camera.
Communication in relationships isn’t always spoken. This is my husband on our honeymoon, non-verbally telling me to put the lens cap back on the camera.

There was a moment right after our third daughter was born that I will never forget. Knowing everything I know now, it was a comedy. In the moment, it was one of the sweetest things I had experienced.

While I don’t often dole out relationship tips, this is one I actually do want to share. Communication can be silent, you just have to recognize it.

As I’ve written before, my third daughter was born in somewhat of a whirlwind. In less than 2 hours, I went from broken water to having a baby, delivered by a doctor I had never met, with a non-working epidural. She came a bit early so shortly before she was born, we got a few special instructions about how she wouldn’t be able to stay with us for more than a few minutes and how she might need intervention to help her breath eat or to treat infections.

There was a lot of people in the room. It wasn’t the 3-4 that were there for the birth of my other children. Instead, there were more than 10 people present as she arrived into this world. She was cleaned up on my belly, but then she was taken to the warmer on the other side of the room. My husband went with her to take pictures and relay her information to me.

As I sat in the hospital bed confined by the tubes and IVs, I looked over at my husband. He’s been emotional during each birth and this was no different.

We've share a lot of non-verbal conversations. This one was at our wedding. While it may look like he is say, "you look nice" he is really saying, "are you as hungry as I am?" See? Only we can understand our own language.
We’ve share a lot of non-verbal conversations. This one was at our wedding. While it may look like he is say, “you look nice” he is really saying, “are you as hungry as I am?” See? Only we can understand our own language.

The room was busy. The doctors and nurses were doing their jobs. A new baby, confused about what the heck was going on, was screaming her head off. And there, in the midst of them, I caught my husbands eye. It was just him and I. The world had stopped. I looked at him as a tear flowed down his cheek. Saying nothing, I pouted my lips at him. Then he smiled.

It was code. A secret language. Spoken in a tongue only the two of us could understand. He wasn’t saying he was sad or scared. He was just overcome by all of the emotion of that day and the birth of his new, sweet daughter.

Yeah, all of that came from that silent exchange. You didn’t get that?

This wasn’t the first time we have communicated in nothing but facial expressions. It wasn’t the first time that one side-ways glance provided me with a wealth of information that no one else would understand.

I see it when I watch our wedding video, too. I remember the silent conversations of that day. I remember it when his grandpa died and then when my grandpa died. When our babies were baptized. When our siblings got married. When vacation was ending and we had to go back to reality. When we started new jobs. When we were sick and going in for surgery.

We still do it. It doesn’t take a life changing event. We tell long tales through looks across the dinner table. We share secrets through glances and smiles while the kids play. We can relay an entire story through facial expressions.

I’m sure you do it too. Maybe it isn’t your husband. Maybe it’s your mom, your best friend or your child. The ability to know someone so well that a look into their eyes is a glance into their soul. You feel it. You know it.

So, who is that person for you? What secrets do you share? What stories do you tell?

 

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