New Year, New Outlook

Oh hey there! I’ve waded through the dust and cleared the cobwebs off this blog. I need a place to write. It’s sort of my New Year’s Goal, but I’m getting ahead of myself.

*Deep breath*

Hello. I’m back. At least I hope I’m back for regular appearances. In two days we’ll be turning over a new month and a new year on the calendar–what better time than now to recommitment to myself? So, like 98 percent of the population, I have….resolutions. Though I hate to call them that, so instead, I’ll refer to them as goals. You know I like a good goal.

A few weeks ago, I decided to set parameters for these goals.  They had to be about me. They couldn’t have to do with “chores” around the house. Weight loss and health items weren’t a resolution for this year because it’s something I’m always striving for. And then on Christmas, something happened that helped me define them for myself.

We were having a brunch with our family when one of my sisters-in-law asked her husband to tend to their baby so she could enjoy her coffee and her cinnamon roll. She said she was looking forward to the pairing and really wanted to focus on enjoying it.

Now, my first though was to shut up so I didn’t interrupt her enjoyment, but my second thought was “How is she doing this?” There is no part of my life that is every quiet, calm, peaceful enough for me to sit and savor my food…or really anything for that matter.

Maybe I wouldn’t swallow so many Oreos is I was more mindful and enjoyed the pairing of the cookies and milk.

Maybe I could enjoy taking a bath with the bath salts my husband brought home from China if I wasn’t so concerned about who was going to fold the laundry.

Maybe I could sit and write or read or mail letters if I wasn’t so concerned about being the only one who can provide balance, peace and order to our house.

Let’s face it, I’m not the president and CEO of the house.

The problem is that I’m afraid to say, “do it yourself” or “can you help the kids…” because my role is mom. My job is mom. My expectations for myself are to be a doting wife and mother. In that role, I fold laundry, wash dishes and clean up the house until I pass out at night. Then I wake up and do it all over the following day.

However, I’ll never be mindful enough or be present enough to every fully embrace the idea of doing things for myself. The chores will never be over, but maybe if they aren’t the only things on the to-do list, I’ll actually make time for them.

So, I present to you, my 2018 goals.

These are completely obtainable, measurable goals. As I wrote about setting goals in the past, I’m not trying to make things hard on myself. I’m not trying to set myself up to fail. I wrote up these goals because they are things that I actually want to do, and I want to remember them. I’ve printed them up and put a copy in my planner for this year (more on that soon). That way I will see them on a regular basis and hopefully that will keep me on track.

• Work on hand lettering — This is just something I want to do. I love the look on calligraphy and neat hand lettering. So, basically, why not?
• Wear my glasses more — I recently got glasses and they drastically improved the crispness of my vision. I can see clearly without them, but they just enhance things I see. I should wear them more.
• Write for myself 2 hours per week — Writing, for me, is an outlet for sorting out my feelings. Whether I journal or blog or do some guided responses, I need to get some writing time in.
• Read 10 books for pleasure — I always enjoy books I read. I just never take the time to read for pleasure. My neighbor brings me her book club books so I’m getting better about it, but let’s set a goal so I don’t forget about it.
• Send at least 2 letters per month — This is pretty self-explanatory, but if I’m going to help keep the Post Office in business, I better send some mail! Side note: Postage is going up in January.
• Complete a Bible study — I always start a reading plan with the best of intentions, this will hopefully hold me to it.

So, that’s where I’m coming from. I’m hoping that 2018, my 37th year, will allow me to finally do something for me. I hope I can finally learn what it means to enjoy my coffee and cinnamon roll.