I have long been an Emily Giffin fan. You name it, I’ve read it. I love her style, I love her ability to reference previous characters in other books. I’ve laughed, cried and wished they were real. This weekend, Something Borrowed became real for me on the big screen. I took in the show with two of my sisters-in-law and thoroughly enjoyed it. But the topic of the book lead to some conversation and an even bigger discussion on a morning radio show today.
The movie was adorable. The cast was fitting. We were rooting for the underdog the entire time. But I wondered: does this stuff happen in real life? Do people actually not notice crushes and let them go on for years only to have a fling before the wedding and admit they love someone else? Really? Probably not. Maybe that’s part of the charm of the books and why I like to read them. Maybe it’s engaging and fun and fantasy for someone who really doesn’t like fantasy in the true definition of the word.
The morning host introduced the idea that 30 percent of married women believe they married the wrong man. Some stay in the marriage for the sake of children or other things. Some leave. This number was awfully hi. One in three women feel this way. Are they around me? Are they my friends?
While I can somewhat understand what they think. I’m sure there are times in every marriage where something happens, or someone just wants to sleep past 7 a.m. on a Saturday morning but they have children and a husband who works (oh, wait, just me) and they think “Man, sometimes I wish things were different.” But I never question the union that I made before God and our witnesses. I didn’t marry the wrong guy.
I don’t really think there is a perfect person for everyone. There is not ONE single person out there that you are MEANT to be with. I mean, if that was the case, everyone needs to travel the world trying to figure out where Mr. Perfect is. No, no, no. There are just some people that come along, love you for who you are, and who you really can’t imagine yourself being without. Someone who understands you on a different level and accepts all of your quirks, say like, your inability to squeeze the toothpaste from the bottom.
Maybe the truth is too many of those frustration have happened to them and they “forget” to step back and look at all the good moments. For me, it’s the many Sundays we sat on the couch watching re-runs of “Law and Order: SVU” before we had kids. Or the days we sat in the backyard on our zero gravity chairs watching our daughter run around. Or the way we steal each other’s candy and act like we didn’t (oh, wait, just me again?). Or the time we bought our first car together and after all the paperwork was drawn up I changed my mind about the color. When everyone else wanted to scream and run away from the crazy pregnant lady, my husband just wanted me to be happy. And that’s all I want for him.
I’ve questioned decisions I’ve made before. I’ve thought I should have gone to a different college. I should have trusted my skills a little more to take more chances in internships and jobs. I should have taken up running a long time ago. I should get over my fear of flying and travel more. I should have made more time for me despite all the changes we were going through as a family.
But I have never questioned the validity of my marriage.
What do you question?
