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MOMcon: Depression and motherhood

Gillian Marchenko talks about depression and motherhood.
Gillian Marchenko talks about depression and motherhood.

Give it to God. I’ve heard that phrase more times than I can count.

This too shall pass. Well, if I had a nickle for every time I heard that one, I’d be rich.

I’ve sat in a pew at a church while having a panic attack listening to the pastor tell us that we are supposed to cast our worries on God and anxiety is a sign of not trusting God. Do you know how horrible that made me feel?

So what are some resources for moms with depression? Good thing I attended that session at MOMcon and can pass along that information to you. Depression and motherhood does not mean you aren’t good at being a mom and a wife.

Gillian Marchenko, an author and mother whose been there. Her depression so severe, she shares her story to help other moms cope with the situation.

There were several things she said that rang true to me.

  • We can choose to be happy, but sometimes it doesn’t choose us–I’ve been here. Everything should be A-ok, yet the idea of just being happy makes me want to stab myself. Or someone else. Sometimes I’m just sad. And there isn’t anything wrong with that. 
  • Why doesn’t faith and scripture calm the storm within?
  • God can work through us and our depression.
  • Find a motivation to keep going, especially on the rough days.

The news is good. You can have depression and faith.

“Who among you fears the LORD and obeys the word of his servant? Let him who walks in the dark who has no light, trust in the name of the lord and rely on his God.” Isaiah 50:10

So what can we do?

My advice: Fake it until you make it.

Go to church. Find a group like MOPS or MOMSnext so you can be reminded that you are not alone. Try to get out with friends. Find a good book like Beth Moore’s “Breaking Free.” But above all, tell someone. Tell your spouse, tell a friend, tell anyone. Let them check on you. Sometimes just admitting the demon is taking over helps tame it just a tiny bit.

And remember that medication is not the end of the world, sometimes it helps open doors you never knew existed.

Raising kids when you have depression is not easy, especially when you are down in it. However, it’s not impossible. You can raise happy kids even though you always aren’t.