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How our life would have been…

Franco the sea lion is getting his mane.
Spending time together, even if it's with a sea lion, is really important.

My blog went dark for two weeks for two reasons.

1. My husband was in China and since I’m a “just-in-time” blogger, when things got busy, it was the first thing to go. My children and the job that pays me money were the higher priority. (Oh advertisers!)

2. My husband came home from China and my children were up north with my mother-in-law for several days.

Let me rephrase that. My husband and I were alone for an entire weekend by ourselves. That’s the first time we’ve been alone in this house that long. So you can guess what happened.

No, not that. Well, maybe it did. That’s for us to know.

Nothing got done. We relaxed, we watched a whole lot of “Law and Order: SVU” and we also (gasp) watched a non-kid movie on our own TV. And for the record, it was “American Reunion,” and that was some funny stuff right there.

We stayed up late and ate Thai food in the living room. We napped. We talked and we didn’t clean the dishes in the sink for three days. Laundry wasn’t done. I wore sweats and t-shirts for several days and I didn’t make the bed.

But it wasn’t what we didn’t do, or did do, but what I learned about us.

We aren’t ourselves when the kids are around. We run on a schedule. We keep things neat. We go to bed early. And we watch a lot of g-rated stuff.

I can sing the lunch song from “Bubble Guppies,” can you?

It wasn’t until they were gone and we were alone for more than 5 hours that I realized it. At first, I felt bad. I wasn’t missing my children the way I expected to. I was happy for the time. I think, however, that it had more to do with the fact that Jacob and I could finally have an uninterrupted conversation and could go to Target at 9 p.m.

We were experiencing our lives without children.

While it was nice and I could go to the gym whenever I wanted and not have to shell out the money for the gym day care. And I actually heard the sermon in church. I knew they were coming back. It wasn’t as though I had lost them forever. I knew they were going to return in just a few short days and life would go back to normal.

I was able to enjoy the time I had away from them and relax because once Tuesday arrived, I knew my house would be messy, baby dolls would have to be swaddled and dressed (by me for them), and the laundry pile would grow. This realization really helped me to live in the moment that weekend and enjoy the fact that my kids were somewhere else, having just as much fun.

However, the weekend also taught me that we need more time alone.

Our Norwegian Cruise was awesome and amazing, but it was busy. Hanging out in our house with the kids was just as awesome. I’ve always been hesitant to ask people to keep them overnight because they might get scared or not sleep or want to come home at midnight, but this made me realize it’s good for all of us.

They do fine elsewhere and they enjoy it. I need to give up control every-other month or so and let them sleep at a grandparent’s house, stay the night with an aunt or uncle or have a sleepover at the house of their friends.

The reconnection with my husband makes it all worthwhile.

One thought on “How our life would have been…

  1. Do not feel an ounce of guilt! I once read that it makes you a better parent to have time away from your kids, and I can definitely see where it’s true.

    And yes, I hope you had time for THAT too 😉

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