Delaying Gratification

In my previous job, which was at a school, we had certain holidays throughout the year when the kids were off. If the break was two weeks, which happened twice a year, we were able to take off one of the two weeks without burning vacation time.

I always opted for the second week. I mean, at Christmas time, it seemed to make sesne. I got the time between Christmas and New Years off rather than having to go in when my kids weren’t in school. Over spring break, I took the second week. Always.

I couldn’t imagine taking the first week. Why did other people want to take the second week off? Put it off as long as possible so that you can enjoy it more.

That last sentence makes no sense. I know it makes no sense. However, I say it to myself all the time.

Conversation with myself:

“Hey, why don’t you use this time to read a book/sew that project/write that letter.”
“That sounds fantastic however, if I get the laundry all folded and I’ll feel better and then I’ll enjoy reading a book/sewing that project/writing that letter. And because the dirty work is done, I’ll enjoy it more.”

Lies! Lies, I tell you.

Most of the time the dirty work, so to speak, never ends. There is always laundry to fold (I have three kids….it never ends), there is always something to clean, there are always cupboards that could be even more organized, there is always a basement that could be decluttered, reorganized or turned into my newest fad. There is always dog poop to scoop, weeds to pull, a car to clean out or a garage to straighten up.

I’m am set on delaying gratification

That time for the book/sewing project/writing never comes. I always envision enjoying to so much more when everything is done and I can really delve into it and invest my entire being.

But then it never happens. Or when it does happen I’m rushed to finish it and it’s not exactly how I wanted it to be.

I need to find that happy medium. One where I’m enjoying activities and actually, you know, doing them, but also one where I’m also maintaining my responsibilities and not going out of my mind thinking of all the things I should be doing.

I’ve really never been able to attain that balance, but I need to.

Working at home means I have to stay way on top of my own time. I often find myself saying “oh, if I just work tonight and get this done, then tomorrow I can really enjoy that other thing.” However, the next morning, I think of 50 other work related things I should be doing, the entire thing becomes overwhelming and my life becomes an endless cycle of handling each client and investing way more time then I should. Oh, and sleeping, chauffering my children around, making all the meals, cleaning up the house, doing laundry and making sure the house runs pretty efficiently.

There is no time for the reading/sewing projects/writing. But there needs to be.

Without it, my brain has very little chance to recharge and function again.

But the next step is figuring out how to do that.