Family Parenting Pregnancy Self Improvement

And then I had a minor freak out

25 weeks pregnant with baby number three
25 weeks pregnant with baby number three.

My husband’s new truck came with a kickin’ sound system, a sunroof and sliding back window. When we first got the truck, we would listen to the music really loudly, open the windows and enjoy the ride.

That had a stop a little bit when the weather got more unpredictable. We wouldn’t want snow, rain, hail or below freezing temperatures to take over the drive.

Well, this little tradition, which my children call “Rocking Out,” has begun in earnest again in the last few weeks. This little musical session has a play list.

Truck, Yeah – Tim McGraw
Despicable Me – Pharrel Williams
Party Rock – LMFAO
and the newest
Feel This Moment – Pit Bull and Christina Aguilera

My three-year-old is obssessed with this song. She’ll just randomly walk up to me in the kitchen and say “Mommy, I just want to feel this moment.”

At first it was adorable and funny…now it’s almost like a Heaven sent message to slow down and thing about where I am right now and not worry about the situation in the fall, the desire we have to go on a cruise in the near future or that we want to resume camping as soon as we can. I just want to feel this moment.

The last three weeks have been a little….eye opening. After a tummy bug for my youngest, ear infectiosn for my older, a tummy bug for myself and then a terrible sinus infection, I started to think I couldn’t do it. I can barely handle the two kids I have, how will I handle another?

How will I handle first-grade homework while nursing? How will I get six little legs in tree pairs of pants and tiny little teeth brushed all before 7 a.m.? How will I ever find a free moment for again?

I just want to feel this moment.

Sometimes I start shutting down. I have lots and lots of thoughts but I know they seem like ridiculous problems to have. My husband sees life in a much simpler respect than I do. My major freak outs are just minor blips on his radar.25-ish Weeks with my first baby.

The fact that we haven’t even talked about a name for our new princess? No big deal. We’ll figure that out when she’s born. The fact that I want to try some alternative medicine things for my OCD and PPD after she is born? Completely time consuming to me, while nearly a shoulder shug and a debit-card swipe to him.

I just want to feel this moment. All of these things created the perfect storm for a freak out. Albeit an internal one. Those simple ridiculous problems then turned into things like:

  • What if my baby is giant and won’t fit?
  • What if my water breaks at work?
  • What if I have to go on bedrest?
  • I wonder the best fabric paint for making little shirts every month.
  • What if I don’t take enough pictures?

This is it. This is the last baby to take up residence in my uterus, and I’m terrified. Not by the baby that is coming, but making sure I take in every single moment.

I just want to feel this moment.

So in the last few weeks, I’ve taken to the Pinterest. Well, it’s not like I can hit the wine bottle while watching HGTV or whatever. Pinterest is my little playground. Especially if I take a little sleeping med and then imagine all the things I couldn’t make.

I’ve picked out several fun little crafts, from blankets to decore to other things that can help me curb all of the OMG MUST FEEL BABY hormones that have been surging through my body. Just because we are having a third baby doesn’t mean I can’t get caught up in the excitement! It doesn’t mean I can’t drool over adorable clothes I already own, or spend some time putting finishing touches on the nursery. It doesn’t mean I can’t spend my time reading up on labor and trying to learn anything new that might help in the moment.

Because I’m pretty sure I’ll be feeling that moment.

So the level of excited in my body has been growing, my desire to meet our little princess has skyrocketed. I guess I don’t see thought around my getting as excited, but it’s probably because I have kids. There isn’t a shower to plan or new furniture to assemble. But that isn’t going to make this any less special for me anymore.

I just want to feel this moment.